Gory Girl Blogs October 2009

"Would You Like My ID With That?"

Let's talk about looking your age.

It is a general and widely held belief that it is a "e;bad" thing to look your age. Women everywhere start slapping on eye cream before they even graduate from college and Botox injections coupled with a whole host of surgical procedures are rapidly on the rise.

American women do everything within their power to NOT look their age; to hold on as long as possible to youth and vitality, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

But what's a girl to do when she has the opposite problem?

I look much younger than my actual age, and yes, Virginia, that IS a problem.

If I had a dollar for every time someone said, "Oh, but think how great you'll look when you're 50!" Then I could quit my job now and join the ranks of the independently wealthy.

I'm sure they are right. I do believe that at some point, I will LOVE looking a good ten years younger than I actually am.

But for now I do not love it.

Maybe it's my imagination (I highly doubt it), but there are all sorts of problems associated with my issue. Namely, lack of respect.

I feel that because of my younger-looking status (coupled with my small frame), that even though people know I'm an adult, there is still a subconscious part of them that simply doesn't view me as one. This makes sense. There is a disparity between what they know and what they see in front of them. Alas, not much I can do about that.

What is one supposed to do, though, when they want to be seen as a professional but are really just seen as someone who looks like a high schooler?

Dressing professionally helps some. This is the only thing I can think of that has.

Anyone else have this problem?

Personal Anecdote Time:

"I'm going to need to see your ID." Said with a disapproving, "I'm about to bust this chick" look.

"Ok, here's your library card application. And we need parental permission forms for everyone under 18."

"You put your age range as 17-27? Oh, you so should have started with 14...you're totally a believable 14 year old." Said by random guy when I signed up to be an extra.

"What are you studying in college?"

"Are you here for freshman orientation?"

"What? YOU'RE the teacher? But...you CAN'T be the teacher." Nervous laughter. "You look so YOUNG!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were a student."

"Oh, I thought you were a student. I was going to have to remind you there is NO cutting in line."

"Sweetie, you're gonna need to go back and get your teacher's copier code before we can let you use the copy machine."

"Where's your hall pass?!" Stares at me and sees ID badge. "Oh, um, I'm sorry, nevermind."

"Mrs. Davis? Are you still in high school?" I tell them no. They lean over and whisper, "See, I told you she wasn't still in high school!"

"Are you lost honey?" Gets a good look. "OH, whoa, Ms. Lindsey, I'm sorry...I definitely thought you were a lost kid."

"What I wouldn't give to look ten years younger..."

Poser

It was brought to my attention last night that a few of the photos on my website were taken off that featured Marg and posted on other websites. I will from now on let any and all celebrities know that I will be posting them and that there is a possibility that they may be taken off my site and reposted.

That way I am in the clear if it does happen. I am sure most would not mind and I am sure Marg does not mind but I do not feel comfortable with it being that I had not let her know this was a possibility. This was a PRIVATE party and the pictures posted were not intended for others to splash them around the internet. I didn't think about this when I posted the pics of the party - I just wanted to share things with my community and let them enjoy a piece of the party as well.

I am sure you can all understand that if you were at a private function and your picture appeared on Joe Smoes site 3 weeks later, you would not be at all comfortable attending that persons function again in fear that the pics would wind up God knows where. This is also my fault for not making this clear to anyone. I hope that I can continue to post things and that in future this will not happen again. On my end, I will make this clear to all parties I take pictures of and if they are not okay with this I will not be able to share them. However, I am sure that it will be fine with most.

I look forward to sharing everything when I can and I hope you will be able to respect the site and the people on it. I know that this was not done with malice and that it was harmless, so I am not upset, I would have simply like to have been asked if it's okay next time.

I believe that being a celebrity in part means that you are no longer a 'private individual' and pics will be taken at your best and your worst. I am sure they have gotten used to all the intrusions they endure. I personally would hate not being able to throw on sweats and go to Starbucks for a latte without having cameras in my face or being gawked at like I have a huge boil on my face. I give them mad credit for this and they are much braver than I. I guess that is the price you pay for being famous but I'm sure it still gets old. I have seen first hand the vulture paparazzi waiting outside Boa or The Ivy waiting to swoop in and annoy whomever just for simply wanting to have a salad with friends.

Over all I find that they take this as it comes but there are also the maniacs like Sean Penn that have no tolerance for rude in your face camera men and get taunted knowing full well he has a short temper. Everyone needs to eat and I am sure they have to make a living as well but there is a polite way to go about it. Poor Dita Von Teese arrived in to LAX a few weeks ago and the pap's said "Smile you fucking bitch pose for me!" and that is when I think they fucking need their camera smashed.

A simple "Miss Von Teese may I snap a photo or two?" would most likely go a long way. If you find yourself in the presence of a celebrity just politely ask and accept the answer you get. In most cases they will be more than happy to oblige.

Step By Step

Hi all, I realize that some of you are having issues navigating the site creating your avatars - as well as viewing Gorygirlhalloween.com.

I have been reading all your requests and I am going to blog today about how to get it done. I will do this step by step.

Registration

When you register for the first time you will be sent an EMAIL this is so that I can block spam on my site. The EMAIL may wind up in your TRASH so check there as well. Once you find your email from gorygirl.com you need to click on the link provided in the email to verify your membership. You will not be able to leave comments or see the Halloween site until this is done.

Avatars

We have put instructions on the registration page but I will go over that as well.

The picture can only be 2MB. I found it easier to just drag a picture from Facebook that has already been downsized to your desktop and upload it.

Click on 'choose file', then choose the picture then hit 'upload'.

When your picture shows up in the large image box click your mouse on your face.

A BOX WILL APPEAR use this box to position your face in the smaller box below and create your avatar.

AFTER all this done then hit SUBMIT.

Gorygirlhalloween.com

For you to be able to view the Halloween site and talk on the forum you need to be an ACTIVATED MEMBER - just log in and then click on the Halloween link. You should have no problem at all.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO REGISTER AGAIN if you have already done so. Just be sure that when you originally registered you activated THAT EMAIL.

If you did not get the email, it went to your trash or you accidentally deleted it you can email me your info and I will have that reset so you can register again.

I hope all this information helps you and I really want this to be as easy as possible. The email is to protect my site from spam. Just like Myspace and Facebook or any other site you register to - you will always get a verification email. This is why it is done. I also want to protect my members from spam and being harassed. I hope you understand and are able to navigate without any more problems.

I'm sure you'll let me know if you can't!

Bloody Boob

Well the party is over and everyone seemed to have a great time. I had a couple of party fouls during the night but nothing too drastic! I was however, shut down by the local police for having my music too loud...so next year I have decided to find a proper venue for the event instead of having it at my house. Soon after the party I uploaded all the photos and went to bed - it had been an exhausting day.

The next morning I had to gather up my beautiful Alexander McQueen dress and head over to the Beverly Hills Hotel to relax before the Monte Carlo Film Festival do. I didn't really know what to expect going to a formal Princely shindig but I opted for a subtle cocktail frock and low key heels. As Anthony and I were getting ready he was putting on his best white shirt and I hear "OH SHIT!". I go to the other room to find my husband with blood on his shirt. I asked him what the hell he had done. He said "I don't know I'm bleeding somewhere". We then go to look where the blood came from and we see NOTHING. It's the weirdest thing, it was right about where his nipple was and as we laughed we searched for a cut or something. We then decided to give up looking for the mystery cut and head over to the party.

We stood in the cue for what seemed like forever. Then we finally get to the front, where we meet His Serene Highness Prince Albert and 'snap snap' we take our pic and head in the door. I was a little taken aback by the fact that he was just rushing through the crowd and felt like he was just doing it for publicity for himself rather than celebrating the shows and the people he had invited. It was a buffet and the food was okay but the funny thing was there were NO tables, all the guests had to eat standing up and I thought that was just downright tacky.

I'm not sure he should really be considered a Royal being that was a pretty un-Royal thing to do. It's not like a table costs anything! On the upside I was able to catch up with a lot of people I had not seen in a while. Melina was there to represent CSI: NY and she is always a joy to chat with. Our kids are around the same age so we chatted about Mom stuff. I then ran in to George and Marge from CSI: Vegas - they looked great and seemed to be happy and relaxed with everything. I then ran in to Emily from CSI: Miami and talked fashion with her. She gave me a great tip for jeans that she loved (high waisted J Brands) and how they were for women with real figures. She is Southern and has curves but is in great shape. After a great night of catching up we decided to sleep at the hotel. I was really excited that I finally got to sleep in.

But NOOOO! I got a 9am call so there went that dream of sleeping in bliss until late morning.

We decided to go get a morning meal at the Beverly Hills Hotel Fountain Room. I actually used to work there and the servers I worked with are all still there, so it is always nice to go back. It was packed as expected but 2 seats opened up next to who else but Victoria and David Beckham. She was really pretty in person and extremely polite and approachable. I think she is really misunderstood, she certainly seemed nice enough to me. And yes she eats. Maybe not a lot but she does eat. She was not that skinny actually, she is really small so I found her to be in proportion for her height. David was all kinds of delicious and is now sporting a beard - let me just say it works. They were there with their boys and they were delightful and well mannered as well. She is a very hands on Mom and I was impressed for sure. So had a nice meal and came home to assess the clean up.

Lets just say I have a busy week of sorting, tearing down and cleaning up. I had a great weekend but I am looking forward to a bit of relaxation now.

I have a few Gorygirl exclusive Halloween bracelets (designed with John's logo by Caroline Parrott) from the party, so if you would like me to send something your way be sure to email me your address and I will ship them out by the end of the week!

Be quick and I'll catch you all tomorrow.

Tomato/Tamato

The time has come where the party is just hours away and I will have most of my friends here. One friend in particular arrived Wednesday and with him came the English Language. Now I know that in America we tend to say things differently but in my opinion that doesn't make it wrong. See my best friend in the whole wide world is from a little area in South England and when we became friends he was always laughing at the way I said certain words and saying that I say them wrong.

This has been going on for years now and I don't see why on Earth he still does it. I say things the way I say things and just because I say ALUMINUM and he says ALU-MIN-IUM doesn't mean one is more right than the other. We Americans have our own slang style about us and I think its charming. Just like the Brits have there own way of saying things. I know they Invented the language but that doesn't necessarily mean it's theirs.

I'm sure years and years ago we all spoke some sort of tribal language and with that came its own translation of things. I will never in a million years be able to figure out the London Cockney thing and the rhyme and riddle of that. I think that's just downright silly.

When I hear stuff like 'dog and bone' to me I think why fuck with all those words just say PHONE already. It's not clever and I don't have the brain power to figure out what the hell it all means.

We Americans love to just get to the point and I love that about us. We just say it like it is and don't really worry about offending anyone. Yes at times we go a bit overboard and we may say things a bit wrong but we get each other. Don't get me wrong I love the English language and they defiantly use it in all its glory in Britain.

On average they use the entire vocabulary while we just use the parts that get our point across the quickest. I don't think it makes them smarter just more colorful speakers. I am sure he will always want to correct my English but be sure it will most likely never stick. Bless his BFF heart for trying though.

Dollars and Sense

Oh the joys of crunching numbers. Ever since I have moved in to this house it seems my address gets treated differently than most. When I call a plumber for instance and he asks for my address if I give it out you can automatically tack on a 50% hike on the price. NO MATTER WHAT, it's not "oh I can sort that out for $50 bucks", it's "you need a whole new this or that and it is going to be around $500".

It's kind of annoying. So I try to get 2 or 3 opinions on things and then everyone says it's something different making me all confused. My air conditioner has not worked properly all summer and I have had it 'so called' fixed by 3 different people all saying it was something different. What ever happened to just being fair and doing what's right by people?

By now, you have all read about the fact that I had to come in and replace the 1st company I hired for the party (aka Fabio). Anyway, I got the new company in, who are fantastic and really saving the day on this whole party and making it even more than it would have been. I had a feeling that having someone in last minute to clean up a mess and sort it would be a bit costly and it should be being that it wasn't their mess to begin with and that they were under the gun to complete the tasks. So, I get my bill and WOW! I was a bit surprised by the costs of damage control. So I cut out a few things here and there to make it more reasonable and I learned a good lesson about looking in to who I hire and what they say they can do for what. It seems that you can't trust a lot of people these days and by not checking out my first hire I ended up paying the price by having another more experienced person clean up the mess - thus costing me 3x the original price. LESSON LEARNED!

I am now going to rule this house with an iron pencil and the phone to my ear checking everything about everyone and never take anyones word on things. It's unfortunate that it has come to this but I realize that you have to sift through a lot of bad apples to find a ripe one regardless of who you are or where you live.

If anyone out there has had any similar problems let me know I would love to hear from you. Let the Party begin 1 day and counting!

Sneak Peek

A lot of you have been asking about our costumes and what the partys going to be like. Well I will be posting a video about a week after the event. I will however give you all a sneak peek at some of the things we are working on.

The theme of this years party is the Arabian Nightmare. My house has been being worked on for the past 3 long weeks and there is still a lot to do before the actual event. This is some of the areas that I can show you that are almost completed. Enjoy.

Costumes by Erica Frank

We went with the theme and she used lots of dark arabian style patterns for the outfits. They are both being embellished with gems and beading.

The Main living room is in the process of being turned in to a lounge area. We are still dressing that and finishing it up.

Lucid is sponsoring our event so we built them their own bar and seating area. Van Gogh is also a sponsor and we are having an large Ice bar and Martini luge installed for them the day of the party.

The very front room has been turned in to a mortuary viewing room Complete with coffins and vampires.

Finally the Portrait of my Family done in a Adams family style.

This is just a SNEAK PEEK of some of the things you will see. I have been collecting Halloween props for years and I am sure you will be blown away by the outcome of the event.

2 Days and counting....

Parasite

Today was a really nice and relaxing day for the first time in weeks - I had the house to myself and it was really lovely. I did a bit of decorating and enjoyed the silence. I didn't have any firm plans to bring anyone to the concert I had planned for the night but to my surprise my husband wanted to go to the baseball game tomorrow night so he agreed to accompany me to the El Rey to see La Roux.

Right before I was leaving for the show I noticed that my puppy Becka had a bloody poop and it was really runny (sorry if you've just got up!). I panicked and my assistant took her to the vet. The first thing I thought was that the fall (AZ putting her on the balcony where she fell 20 feet) had hurt her inside and now it was turning up. However, that had been 2 weeks ago and the blood was bright red and not brown meaning it was fresh. So, needless to say I was concerned. Well I have come to find she had picked up a parasite and anyone that had kissy contact with her should go to the Doctor. I don't let the dog kiss me on my face but my husband does and so did a few of the visitors to my house....I guess I will have to call everyone and let them know about the parasite thing. She will be fine though, she just needs her medication and it will go away.

So, after that whole nightmare, we head off to the concert. It was at the El Rey and I had not seen anyone there until last night. It's quite a nice Venue - intimate and small and the sound is really good. The opening act comes on and thats when Anthony and I wanted to shoot ourselves. The high pitched screaming along with the thrashing hair being flown about was enough to almost make me leave. After 'whoever she was' finally left the stage we waited a whole hour for La Roux to come on stage...

She humbly told the crowd that she was very ill and that it would be a short show. Instantly I think, WOW she is pale as a sheet what a trooper to continue and perform. She started singing and I was extremely impressed by her voice. She sounded better live than on her album and showed real gusto getting through the songs. She played all the fan favorites and a few of the bonus tracks off her UK album and then apologized for the short set and thanked the crowd for being understanding. She played about 6 songs and all sounded great so I was very pleased.

I have a feeling this young girl is going to be the next big thing and she should be. Her hair has already started a huge trend and there were many following her style at the concert. If you get the chance to see her at a small venue grab it.

Soon she will be touring in larger halls and you will have missed your chance.

Mighty Mouse

Today my guru decorator aka Mighty Mouse (due to her saving the day) came with her Wonder Men and made all my Halloween worries disappear.

Things were looking a little dicy there for a time and now I have the confidence that this party is going to be so good that you will all enjoy it as if you were there. There were a few changes that needed to happen and holes to be filled - but I can now relax and enjoy the rest of my week leading up to the big event. The house is coming together nicely and all the venders are getting rounded up and handled. I just need to think about my costumes and putting together my outfit for the following night for the Prince of Monaco reception.

This weekend consisted of meetings and freak outs and talking about what to do and thank goodness it will now all work out. The party wonder boys came and took over the main bulk of things and now I can finally relax knowing I'm in good hands. You see, I had a creative guy handling the event and although he was great and creative he was also not very good with time, organization and vender stuff, so things were not being handled at all like they should have. Creative (left brain) people have this issue and I'm used to it because of my darling husband and UKBFF but to be honest It's not something I would put either of them in charge of knowing that most creatives tick a certain way and that's not really their strong suit. I am the complete opposite to this - I'm a right brain thinker and I am extremely organized. I think through everything, I was made to micro manage to death, and will do that if you let me. Just ask my hubby and he will tell you that.

Well, I've got 2 boys to do that for me now - and the party should now go off without a hitch and on time! I will also have plenty of time for my stressed skin and 2lbs of stress weight to clear up. This week I will try to blog as much as I can and the new RSS feed should keep you all posted as to what's new and updated. I have 2 concerts to attend this week as well as my party and the Prince thing, so I will do my best to update you and give the details on it all.

The concerts are LA ROUX and SNOW PATROL. I am very excited about both events and will give you a write up on both. Still trying to round up a date for La Roux, so I may just be doing that one solo. I know it's sad but I got tickets and really want to check her out live to see if shes good. Check out the album if you get a chance at the iTunes store. Until then I will leave you all with my new updated fashion page and home page.

If anyone would like to guest blog please email them to me and I would be happy to post it.

See you soon. GG

Defeated

Do you ever have a day where you just feel defeated? Well I have reached my limit on happy happy smiley smiley.

I managed to fly to Vegas to get my normal crap done and check on my house see a few friends and get my nails done only to fly back home and get in to a verbal scrap with the Halloween decorators. It's the final countdown until the party and I have still have no firm contracts in and not a lot of the decor down. So, I managed a proper sized meltdown and pulled in a trusted pro and let my accountant loose on the head guy.

I don't feel bad about my decision but I do understand that he is really doing his best - he just bit off a bit too much and can't seem to pull it off without help. I then find out via my pro that nothing was ever finalized and deposits were not paid. At that point my brain just shut down and I have to throw my hands up. Then I vent to my husband before he has to pitch Showtime and then being worried about me and this party he fucks that up so he comes home all pissed off as well. Then to make things doubly worse my computer goes to fall and when I catch it I break 3, YES 3, of my freshly done nails. I am just done.

I gained 3lbs from stress eating, yes, I tend to eat more when stressed out as opposed to starving! So I woke up today with the hopes that if I just shut off it may just work out. Next week I will have a lot to do having to do with this - even so, I have decided on a blog break. Monday I will load all the new content on fashion and movies and perhaps a juicy blog about my weekend fun (if I have any) and then I will be signing off until Saturday so my web God can do all my content management and make the changes you all suggested.

I will still be tweeting so you can follow my rants from there. Saturday the Halloween part of Gorygirl will launch and you will get all the goods on the party and the video will be uploaded the following week. So, I better pick myself up and dust my worries off and get in some ass so I can pull this party off. It's going to be a long week and hopefully it will all be ok.

I keep telling my self it will anyway. Have a great weekend!

Frozen in Time

I'm off to see the wizard on Monday and thinking about getting it all on video so you guys can see what it's like to get your face stuck with needles. I am almost forty and proud to say that I have no wrinkles on my forehead and no crows feet adorning my eyes. I have been getting botox for years as a preventative measure as not to get them and it seems to be working. I also get a bit of filler in my lips and around the smile lines.

I was lucky enough to find a fantastic dermatologist that is about 1/2 the cost of a plastic surgeon. I have seen a few people that go way over the top with their faces and don't really see the appeal. I hope to God that if I ever reached the point of a Joan Rivers style wind tunnel face someone would stop me! I feel that it doesn't hurt to try and prevent the aging process, it's when you try to change major features on your face that the trouble begins. I am not a gorgeous woman but I do like my face simple as it may be and have no desire to change it.

I just want to try to hold on to that fresh looking face as long as I can. I used to have a pair of these fun hereditary things called saddlebags. Women have been plagued by these fuckers since the dawn of time and no matter how many leg lifts and squats you do they won't budge. Well, I finally said fuck it and had them sucked out. It was the greatest thing I ever did. I was never able to wear jeans due to my big hips and small waist and now I was finally able to - after 3 kids I still feel great about the fact that I did that and kept it away.

I understand living in LA the pressures of wanting to be perfect but I like me and I like all the little imperfections, however I feel that there is nothing wrong with making a few choice improvements. Everyone should be able to feel confident with themselves and if a little nip/tuck is needed for that, well I think thats great. Double FF's are a bit over the top but there is nothing wrong with a little 'this and that'. I eat right and work out and try to maintain a health living style and I feel better for it. I know I will age and there is nothing I can do to stop it but I will fight like hell to keep up what I have.

So, if you feel like having something done just be sure to get many opinions by doctors and listen to all the pros and cons - do what you feel is best for you. I weighed many options and did a fair amount of research before making decisions and information is always helpful when making big choices.

I'll keep you posted on age fighting process!

Bush Baby

I have never been one for war. I think that the whole 'war on terror' was a joke and totally set up to get rich off contracts. I am sick of talking about it as are most people now but the fact that we are still over there is even more annoying. I have never been one for politics either and never really voted in my twenties but I do pay attention now to things on the news and how this country likes to skew things to scare and manipulate rather than inform and it makes me rather sick to my stomach.

I sit here in my nice big house with my cushy life and don't really give too much thought about things now but I, as many do, forget that there are a lot of people living up to their sucky obligation to fight in this war and it's so sad. I can only imagine how bad it must feel to be over there. I was looking at my Face Book comments and I noticed this and thought I would share. I appreciate the efforts of all that are over there and hope that this whole thing ends soon. Children are the littlest victims in this whole bullshit thing and I am glad that someone is looking out for them. Here is the story that goes along with this photo.

Sorry about the gut check blog today but sometimes we need little reminders of how good we have it. I know I do.

John Gebhardt's wife, Mindy, said that this little girl's entire family was executed. The insurgents intended to execute the little girl also, and shot her in the head...but they failed to kill her. She was cared for in John's hospital and is healing up, but continues to cry and moan. The nurses said John is the only one who seems to calm her down, so John has spent the last four nights holding her while they both slept in that chair. The girl is coming along with her healing. He is a real Star of the war, and represents what America is trying to do. This, my friends, is worth sharing. Go for it!! You'll never see things like this in the news. Please keep this going. Nothing will happen if you don't, but the American public needs to see pictures like this and needs to realize that what we're doing over there is making a difference. Even if it is just one little girl at a time.

James Gates U. S. Navy

Morning Madness

So, as you read from my husband's prior blog things get a bit stressful for me around this time of year... Well, at midnight last night I sighed a big old "I'm awake sigh" in the direction of my husband. He woke up to say "WTF what's wrong?" and I had a good 2 hour freak out about how nothing looks done, the decorators are moving too slow, we are running out of time, there is still tons to build and the process is waaaaay too slow, I have no invoices and what if something goes wrong???

I was feverishly brain storming all night trying to come up with a 'just in case' plan and emailing my ass off trying to make sense of it all. I decided that when the time comes, I am going to light a fire under a few asses and get a more cohesive timeline.

I woke up to a stomach ache and got a morning call from the crew saying traffic was bad...I also had a fitting for my costume as well today. When the crew got here I spoke my mind and I could see the color leave his face being that I just rearranged his schedule and said I was unhappy. He calmly explained what he is going to be doing and where things are going to go from this point on and that I just have to trust him. So, I took a breath and ended it with a smile and a prayer that it will all work out and look good. Most of the exterior is getting done as we speak and things are moving along. Maybe not as fast as I like but moving none the less...

I have been used to working in Vegas one way for years so the change has me a little freaked out and I have to, at some point, hope that he knows what he is doing and can execute it in time...and that it will be amazing.

The costumer came with my costume and I tried it all on and we fiddled with it until it was just right and I am really excited about it. I have not seen how my Husbands is coming a long but the fact that he loved how big his pants were is a good sign that it will be fantastic! She seems to really have a way with the costume construction so she really went above and beyond what I had initially envisioned. I am not going to spoil it by telling you. You will have to wait until October 24 to see the party pics on gorygirlhalloween.com!

Now I'm getting a little more relaxed, as is my puppy who happens to be stinking up the joint more than a dog this small should be. I am hoping that Halloween 2009 is a success and that the 2 zits I have acquired through stress disappear!

I will keep you posted and enjoy all the Halloween fun on the home page. Drink responsibly!

"Holla... wean..." by Anthony E. Zuiker

So my wife asks me "can you blog for me" well tonight. The well isn't a water well, but a "stress filled" well with the burgeoning topic of - you guessed it - Halloween. Or as I call it "Holla... wean..." "Holla..." because that's what my wife's been doing a lot of. And "Wean" because I'm going to have to be a good husband and "wean" her off of disappointment if the company she's hired F's up her annual Halloween party.

You see, my wife looks forward to putting on a show-stopping Halloween party every year in our home. She takes a lot of pride and care into transforming whatever house we're living in into a haunted mansion to rival the "Haunted Mansion" at Disneyland. Okay, that's a stretch, but it's damn close. When you walk into our home Vincent Price may not say "Is this room actually stretching?", but we drop a good amount of money into the party. And the list of party goers is pretty exclusive. "Exclusive" to who's not going to be a pain in the ass. Yes, we try to put together a "buster free" list. It most likely doesn't work out that way. Someone always gets too drunk, says stupid shit, or wears a Ron Jeremy costume with curly chest hair and cotton stuffed dong. And to make it worse, it's our sad sack brother in law. Point being, my wife hates drama and she's getting plenty of it right now. You see, this is the first year we've lived in California so all of the hires are new. A new caterer. A new party planner. After going through many resumes, my wife settled on 'Fabbio'. Meaning he's a fabulous gay man with a good bio. He went to great lengths to add pictures to his proposal. Cut out a little smiling cat on the black plastic binder. Sit with my wife and bring her samples of props and swatches for curtains. All fabulous. Think Tim Gunn but Project Fun Gay.

Here's the problem. We're two weeks out and he's slow. Yes, he's moved all of our props into the house. We have Evil Annie. Ten-foot Zombies. Babies in caskets. Corpses playing piano. But the place is about 15% finished. We need Fabbio at about 60%. Now, my wife is freaking out that the California party is not going to be up to standards. The Las Vegas parties were legendary. Last year, we took a year off to move to L.A. This year it's twice as expensive and a lot of Hollywood types are coming.

And since I live with Gory Girl, I have to be a good husband and hear her vent. It's not like I can pawn her off on the plastic Werewolf in the kitchen or the Mummy in the Foyer. If she asked the Mummy, it would be pre-programmed to say "Mmm... mmm... help me... help me..." And the fact is, it's my wife who needs the help.

My advice to her was to sit Fabbio down and say "My man, we're two weeks out. You're slow a fuck. Pick it up. I'm wigging." I also told her to take pictures every day to track his progress. She agrees. Tomorrow, Jenn is going to sit Fabbio down and have a heart to heart. I, for one, hope it goes well because I'm going to have to be the guy who has to have the heart to heart next. That's not going to go well. I'll say something out of anger and he might quit... or beat my ass. My real fear is the guy walks and I'm stuck serving Fried Bat Skewers on a black napkin. I don't think so. I'm a Sultan this year with a big ball hat and poof pants. I'm not serving shit.

Well, I hope it goes well tomorrow. And I'm sure it's going to be a great party. Jenn will be serving up a lot of video content and great pics for her community. But if you see any pics of a Sultan handing Tobey Maguire a Fried Bat Skewer, you know Fabbio fucked me.

The Dark Side

Thursday night I decided to take the kids and my UK BFF John to the Star Wars Live show. My 2 youngest kids are obsessed with the characters from the original films and John has been collecting memorabilia from the film since birth it seems.

SO the show starts at 8pm and I get ready and the kids fed at 5pm to head out the door at quarter to 6. We head off on time only to start running into traffic 2 miles from the house. I think to myself its only 11 miles away, it's a Thursday, once we get on the freeways we should be ok, it should only take 40 minutes tops on a bad day. WELL I spoke too fucking soon! 1½ hours later and a pit stop so the kids could pee and we finally get there. I thought we would have plenty of time to grab a quick dinner before heading in but NO NO NO we barely had 20 minutes to spare after all the bullshit closed roads and traffic cops doing absolutely nothing but making things more complicated. If you have baseball, hockey and a concert all happening within a mile of each other common sense would dictate to fucking keep ALL 3 lanes open BUT NO they only have 1 open, with a fake rent a cop guy to direct cars with a glowing stick.

So we manage to get in and get our seats and I decided to wait until the show starts before getting drinks. The show begins and it's really rather cool. I always liked episodes 4, 5, and 6 that I grew up with and they did a really nice job of putting it all together with film footage and laser lights and whatnot. C3PO was the host and all 3 kids (John being included in that figure) enjoyed it till the very end at 10:30 pm.

We decided to head out during the encore (Imperial March) and off to the car we went. John carried the littlest one (wearing a chewbacka outfit may I add) and I dragged the other to the car. I was all happy that I parked by an exit only to find that when exiting ALL exits but one were closed. WTF I mean really they built this car park with all these exits for a reason, but not tonight - tonight there was only 1.

So now its 11:30pm and I finally get home and write this.

Overall it was a good night, and well worth the aggravation but next time I should just plan on 2 flipping hours to commute because nothing downtown is an easy commute to it seems. The one thing I will always hate about this city is the traffic and really self absorbed, over zealous honking fanatic drivers. On that note I'm going to bed. If the Star Wars in Concert show comes your way I would highly recommend it. The kids loved it!

Poor Sport

Oh the joy of football season has begun and to make matters worse you can throw in some post season baseball. Yes it seems I have lost my husband for the duration of the season to a bunch of bulky corn fed men tossing a ball and hitting each other. I can never understand what makes men so crazy about sports. I see them yell at the screen and carry on like babies forgetting everything else surrounding them. I also see the craziness go even further at a live event. Mothers cant even take their kids to a sports event now days without the worry of foul language or a fight ensuing. ITS JUST A GAME.

I thought games were supposed to be fun. If you were playing scrabble and the other guy got a 20 point word would you tell him to fuck off or try and throw a swing. Well why is a sporting event any different. Even worse is the parents whose poor kids just want to go out and play soccer and the parents get all fired up with one another in front of 6 year old kids.

That was the point when I said group sports are not for my kids and put them in tennis.

A while back I had my oldest boy in soccer he was 6 at the time. There was a couple of real bad sportsman like parents that yelled and screamed and told their kids to trip and elbow the bigger kids and my son looked at me like "I thought this was a fun thing why is so and so's daddy so angry" I really didn't know what to say about it. I then noticed that there were a lot of crazed sports parents and then It came on the news about how parents got in fist fights in front of their kids over a simple game.

It's a shame when kids cant even enjoy the simple things anymore without parents now fucking that up as well. My son is now asking me to play football and I want him to be happy but I am not sure I am ready for the onslaught of parent bullshit that comes along with it. Its all political now as well and if my sons not good trust me he wont play cause its all about winning. The one thing my boy does know is how to win with grace and pat the other kid on the back and say "lets play again it was fun" without gloating. If he looses he says good game and doesn't take it like its the end of the world. I am not sure I am ready for him to loose that quality. I hope that games become fun again and I am going to be sure to teach my kids how NOT to behave in hopes that the next generation will be a bit milder in the stands and sidelines.

Jet Set

Well, I woke up at 7 a.m. Paris time and started my way beck home. I had a great time while in Paris and bought myself an amazing Elie Saab dress from Daniel Maloff (aka super foxy sales guy that speaks 6 languages and has the face and body of a God.) So I would say it was a good trip. I got all checked in at the airport and boarded my flight home after a fashion drunk five days. I tried to sleep for about 4 hours, but ended up sleeping for 6 so that was a good thing. Eleven hours later, I arrived in L.A. at 1 p.m. in the afternoon. I grabbed my luggage and headed home. I was happy to see my dog Becka (who happened to take a 20ft fall thanks to my husband letting her go on the upstairs balcony). Nice one, hubby. I was also greeted with my halloween decorators and the orchestration that goes along with all that. Hell, my party is in a few weeks. So I chit chat a bit, unpack, and lay down for an hour only to get up again and get dolled up for the Premier of 'Law Abiding Citizen.' Being the sport I am I throw together a good look (Fendi dress and Zanotti platforms) and out the door I go.

We arrive at Manns and walked the red carpet and stopped for a couple of paparazzi shots. After a quick trip to the 'Z' area of Will Call, we headed in. There are all these reserved seats and the ones not reserved are all taken or being saved. So Anthony and I decided to say "fuck it" we noticed that three seats had a jacket thrown across them but the jacket owner is no where to be seen. So we decided to throw the jacket 1 row up and sit down. Well, the row that we put the jacket in was a reserved row and when the guy got back about 20 min later he was asked to move. Well at this point the theatre is packed and he started throwing a big fit about how a jacket was moved and yada yada yada. Then he asked us if we moved it and we both said NO NO we didn't notice anything (yes going to hell for that one) but it was worth it cause they were great seats and if you cared you would have kept your ass sat in the seat. So the movie was good (see Review) and then we proceed to the after party at the Roosevelt Hotel. I grab some food and we make our way around talking with those we knew and being talked to by those who want to know us and then I decide I better take a pic with Gerard Butler (way hot BTW) and then I realize all I have is my crappy Iphone and it sucks for pics. Anthony starts in about bringing cameras and how my readers would want good photos (sorry readers I am rubbish) so next time I will not make that mistake. I am leaving you with a goodnight. I am tired as all can be and a crap picture of me and the hot scot Gerard Butler. I'm happy to be home and now the fun of Halloween begins. BTW, I am still trying to work out this flip cam business, but when I do watch out cause I will have lots to say. ;)